Even Cupid drank too much when he came to Vegas. He was drunk. At least he wasn’t drinking under the influence, he was… flying. Kinda hectic though, he hit a few flies and lost control, smashing against my window.

I heard the noise and rushed to see what it was. You can imagine my surprise when I opened the window and saw this tiny winged dwarf fallen in the grass, with a bottle of Bud in one hand (that was about his size). I picked him up and carefully placed him on my bed, and waited for him to wake up.

A few hours later, the little man was up, and told me he was here on a mission. Valentine’s almost here, he says, but everybody’s gonna have to make do without him this year. He was telling me this on a high-pitched tone while he was dusting himself off, fixing his feathers and running around the house. I could barely keep up with him.

 He saw my fridge and ran there, opened it and looked in for a second. I like beer, you see. Just from time to time I drink a glass with lots of lime. I like lime. I get the cheap beer since I’m not a drinker. I had a bottle of Red Stripe. A big bottle. Cupid saw it and grabbed it, along with a straw that he found in the kitchen. He opened the bottle, put the straw in and began sucking the beer out like it was soda. He then flew away, the straw still firmly between his lips, and the beer bottle (bigger than him) hitting the ground as he was losing or gaining altitude. Hiccuping all the way, until he was lost in the distance.

Speechless, I sat down at my PC and began writing this down. Is Cupid an alcoholic? That would explain a lot of things. Like empty bottles of beer falling from nowhere. I can only imagine how many people he must have hit with his arrows by mistake (and with his empty bottles of beer).

So my advice for you, don’t count on Cupid! Don’t wait for him to sober up, find love on your own, and have a happy Valentine’s!